Tag Archives: faith

ENTERING MY BROKENNESS

I have not written anything in my blog for several months, first of all after moving house I experienced ongoing difficulty with signals and of course my devises and it became easy to let things slip.

I am very aware , in my experience, that it is easy to do this, and then time goes by and the struggle to discipline oneself becomes harder and harder.

The second reason I have not written anything in my blog recently is because my eldest dear dear son was found dead in his home on the first of January 2025, and yet when my husband died at the beginning of the COVID I lived each day through the blog.

Recently I have been considering , and reflecting on brokenness. As you are probably aware people have various ways of giving there support during a bereavement, and the one that comes to mind at the moment is ‘the hush approach’. This approach is easily understood from the perspective of being present in another’s unbearable pain which, in turn touches our own pain and we need to get it shushed or hushed.

The hush approach has its value, but eventually, if we are to heal we need to enter into, and work through our brokenness. A useful metaphor for this purpose is of broken glass. I f you have ever broken glass, swept it up, and later discovered there are more chards which you missed, maybe even stand on one in your bare feet it makes a useful picture or container for our reflections.

In the end we have to enter the brokenness and deal with the pain if we are to recover and come to a place of acceptance of our loss. In a very real sense this is a task of mourning.

You may also notice that many people speak of grief and grieving and never or seldom speak of mourning. I want to suggest that no recovery is complete without ‘mourning the loss’. This process is to use the glass metaphor, entering into the brokenness clearing it gradually, taking breaks and making distractions, and then returning to find the bits you missed.

So lets be clear grieving is not mourning, it is going over the situation over and over and not going anywhere. I f you are strong enough to sit and listen to your own brokenness it is possible to come to the place of mourning but it is good to have a good friend to listen with respect and loving kindness because being heard really heard is a catalyst for change.

Mourning is the next step and is like a huge roar which is a release for the loss and pain. I will continue but am taking a break now.

IF YOU ARE IN BEREAVEMENT MY SINCERE SYMPATHY AND LOVING WISHES.

INTRODUCTION

Aids to faith and reflective living

This afternoon I find myself sitting beside a beautiful lake around 20 miles from my home,. although it is a sunny day it is windy to and the lake is turbulent with the water up to the top of the lake sides. The water is making beautiful patterns rolling in various directions.

The swans are bobbing up and down, feeding and sometimes cleaning their feathers, whilst the beautiful ducks are taking a nap in corners of the grassy area which fronts the lake.A few fishing boats rock about on the lake, and on the other side there are lovely green fields sprinkled by little cottages, which appear to meet the sky,. strangely enough no animals are at rest in the fields this afternoon.Just this moment some ducks rushed out of the water and began scolding and shaking themselves.I.wonder if the drake is scolding his wife?

Since the beginning of the pandemic, the increase in interest and activity of global warming,and the war in ukraine we as a result,are regressed,and in some cases not always rational This is because of the continuing inciduous nature of ongoing stress with little return to safety or normality Our struggles to do normal things also create stress and anxiety and so we may be remaining in hyperarousal our stress hormones always on the up.

Returning to faith and meaning in this challenged and changed world is not easy even for people and church communities who have a history of strong faith and practice. We have just celebrated Easter and I am reminded of Doubting Thomas the disciple who needed to see the risen Christ and place his hands on his wounds so he could believe Jesus was not a ghost.Jesus facilitated this and told him “be not faithless but believing”

With the aforementioned stresses we have mentioned it is not surprising our bodies and minds have gone into regressive and unbearable places and may,at times, feel barely human.Added to this are anxieties re health treatments and the ordinary anxieties of life.

How do we hold the juxtaposition between faith and belief?umh not so easy,is it?Even if one has just a little faith in God little is much when God is in it.Martin Lolyd Jones taught that the principle outlined in John,s vision in Revelation was to stop looking down and poking into things that we cannot understand or assimilate instead we need to look up to God John was called to” come up here” and he looked and observed the power of God ,and saw he was in control.

Lets look up and use the beauty all around us to remember God is in charge plant your feet firmly in his word and remember the many narratives you know where God intervened and resolved the situations.Hold unto the two words”But God”Wherever you are just now breathe!